


(Love my) Sweet Calendar Girl

by o0Aisha0o



Category: Batman - All Media Types, Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Superman - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Bottom Bruce Wayne, Forgive Me, Happy Ending, I Tried, I meant Pre, I'm Sorry, Identity Porn, Kink Meme, Light Angst, M/M, Office Sex, Pin ups, Pre-Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice, Pre-Justice League (2017), Prompt Fill, Secret Identity, Tony Stark is mentioned briefly, What Was I Thinking?, because I love both universes and have no self control, did I say post BvS?, forgive me mother, i failed you, it still has a nice ending tho, litte bit of muscle worship there, really late fill, this is just a mess of things from the animated series and movies, this is way angstier than it should be, which canon am I diverging from? does it even exist? we may never know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-09
Updated: 2019-02-09
Packaged: 2019-10-24 23:57:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,689
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17714123
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o0Aisha0o/pseuds/o0Aisha0o
Summary: Kink Meme Pompt:The Daily Planet decides to do one of those charity calendars where each month is a different employee posing, looking all hot and saucy for the camera (like those ones the Rugby teams or firefighters do). Lois is January, Jimmy is March and Clark....Clark can see it all happening in slow-motion, like a car wreck. His carefully cultivated stodgy persona will be stripped (perhaps literally) and there'll be no way for him to hide his physique.idc where it really goes from there, whether Superman asks Batman for help in concealing his true identity, or Bruce sees the calendar and recognizes those pecs or what but somehow the calendar leads to Bruce learning Clark's secret but instead of being angry or mistrustful he finds the whole thing kinda funny and it leads to sexy times and a stronger, happier SuperBat relationship





	(Love my) Sweet Calendar Girl

**Author's Note:**

> Unbeta'd, first time posting for this fandom. Or any fandom, for that matter. Now edited for a better and more pleasant reading. Thank you, DrkPhoenyx for pointing the formatting problems out.

"W-what?" stuttered Clark without meaning to, his stomach dropping as hard as the first time he attempted to fly and failed miserably. It had been such a nice week. He'd arrived early every day for a change, had finished all his assignments with time to spare and the city and the world had been blessedly calm, no big disasters or emergencies needing Superman, just small robberies and cats needing help to get off of trees. He should've known it was too good to last.

"You heard me, Kent," growled Perry, irritated at the prospect of having to repeat himself. "The Planet staff has been asked by our new boss to pose for one of those charity calendars, something to do with the Wayne foundation program for the sixth month anniversary of Black Zero and I expect my top reporters to *volunteer* to participate."

"I... Um..."

"What is the matter, Kent? Out with it!"

"I just don't feel comfortable with... Um..." half answered Clark, feeling his face go hot with embarrassment. Everyone stared at him, outright smiling and snorting after looking at Perry's expression.

"What are you not comfortable with, boy?"

"Well," intervened Cat Grant, smiling like her namesake. "Our Clark here is from Kansas, and not even from the big cities, but from a place called _Smallville_ , boss and as the saying goes, you can take the guy from Kansas..."

"Come on, Clark," said Jimmy, a sympathetic smile on his face while Clark's seemed adamant on turning an impossible shade of red "I know we'll be taking off our clothes for money but it'll be for charity."

"Yeah, Kansas." Steve slapped his back amicably and he had to sway with the hit so the man didn't hurt himself with the gesture "if David is okay with blinding half of Metropolis AND Gotham appearing half naked for a whole month just to help those families, you have no excuse. There's no way you have anything under those cheap clothes that can be worse than that."

"Like you can talk, Lombard," said David, half annoyed, half amused.

Clark wished it was only his self-consciousness and upbringing stopping him from participating in what should've been just a silly and fun activity to help those that still needed help to rebuild their lives to the best of their abilities after Zod's visit. Even with the Wayne foundation efforts it was not enough and there was still much to recover from and this was just one way Wayne enterprises had planned to help. 

But it wasn't and his stomach churned unpleasantly just thinking about the possibility, the chance, however small, that someone, especially the same people teasing him right now, would connect the very obvious dots and realizing that Superman and Clark Kent are one and the same. He didn't think that every one of them would be as thorough as Lois, but surely one of them would pay enough attention to his unnaturally perfect anatomy, the constant disappearances and late arrivals with half-assed excuses, not to mention all the times Lois had saved his ass and how it could be linked back to her intimate involvement with Superman, and it would all be over.

He couldn't exactly say no either. This was Black Zero related, and even though he'd accepted it wasn't his fault and he did all he could to stop his fellow Kryptonians from obliterating the planet, there was a tiny part of him that still felt guilty and would probably never stop feeling responsible for all those lost lives. And, if he was being completely honest with himself, he still would've done it even if it was a completely different cause. 

Still, willingly drawing the spotlight over Clark Kent was dangerous. He was supposed to be inconspicuous and ordinary, his civilian life depended on that, and maybe he was being too paranoid, maybe he was overreacting and nothing would come out of all this but fun a anecdote to tell his friends, but his whole life he'd tried to hide and be careful to not be noticed so his wariness was as much a force of habit as it was a logical course of action.

"Look, Kent," sighed Perry, looking like he needed a whole packet of antacids right that instant "I wish I could say this is optional, but it was a request from the boss a.k.a Bruce Wayne a.k.a the owner of the foundation AND the Planet, and it really is not. So better get used to the idea, because he didn't say it was mandatory but I sure as hell am not going to say no to charity or Mr. Wayne, got it?"

"Um... Can I at least get a mask or something? So people who know me can't recognize me?" This was his last resort, playing the 'I'm a farm boy from a conservative town' card Cat had given him. He didn't think he'd hear the end of it if his Ma ever found out he actually took days off because of this.

"Well, I could give you October and give you a Halloween mask..."

"Hey! I thought I was gonna be October!" complained David, making Perry roll his eyes and Lois cross her arms.

"Let's keep it that way, Perry," she said, annoyed "We'll save on the cost of the mask since he clearly doesn't need one." the others exploded into snorts and soft laughs.

"Ha ha, Lois."

"Ok, stop it guys," said Jimmy, exasperated "I was gonna be December but you can take my spot, C.K."

"You get your shirt off and I'll make sure the wig, cap and beard cover you so well not even your mother will recognize you, deal?" Clark knew this was his best (and only, really) option. He sighed, and trying not to blush harder, massaged the back of his neck and nodded.

"Ok, I guess."

"All right, that's all! Go back to your desks and I better have your drafts by midday or you're not going back home today, got it?" Everyone scrambled back to their seats with hurried 'yes, sir!'s and the sound of keyboards being smashed mercilessly fast and phones ringing and being answered filled the place.

"Kent!" Perry yelled from his office door "you'll be going to Gotham, Mr. Wayne wants you to cover Waynetech's project with Stark Industries, prepare to leave at 12:30."

"Yes, boss," nodded Clark, glad that at least he was up to date with all his work and could prepare for his interview calmly.

 

* * *

 

Lois was almost at the top of the stairs and would be out on the roof in no time, so Clark prepared the bag of food he'd gotten for her.

"Hey Smallville. You brought some of your mom's food for me? You shouldn't have," said the redhead, already opening the container and moaning softly at the scent of beef and broccoli.

"I knew you would forget to go out and buy something yourself, so I brought an extra for you. Just in case." He smiled as she started devouring her meal with gusto.

"Why did I ever thought dumping you was a good idea?" she joked and Clark snorted loudly.

Two months after the battle against Zod, their relationship ended. It had been mutual and there really wasn't a main reason why, just a series of tiny problems that became too much for both of them to work as a couple. It had hurt and Clark still missed her sometimes, but their friendship survived and here they were, four months later and the best of friends, even joking about it.

"I remember it differently," said Clark, smirking "I was the one who dumped you, you even begged me not to leave you." It was Lois' turn to choke on her food and laugh out loud "on your knees, may I add."

"I think all those blows to your head have finally started taking their toll." He just laughed softly at her jab, grateful that he could still have this with her and that he didn't lose her completely.  

"You really don't want to appear in that calendar, do you?" she said out of nowhere, making Clark wince slightly.

"I'm scared that someone will recognize me. You already proved how easily that can happen, and I really don't want anyone to realize who I am, it could be really dangerous for everyone that's close to me." 

Lois looked up from her food container and stared at him, then smiled.

"We took care of that trail, remember?" Clark nodded. They had made sure all the clues she'd found were destroyed or dismissed as a hoax "and, really, if no one has realized even though your only real change is clothes and a pair of glasses, there's no way this will be the thing to change that."

"You think?

"I know," she said, taking a few more bites before continuing "I mean, that tight blue costume of yours really doesn't leave a lot to the imagination..."

"Lois!"

"...but I really doubt anyone has paid **that** much attention to your pecs, _even_ when they look like they were sculpted by angels"

"Oh my god," groaned Clark, flushing for the hundredth time that day and it wasn't even midday.

"What? I can attest to that!"

"Ok, that's enough 'teasing Clark' for today."

"Does that mean I get to do it again tomorrow?" Clark just shook his head, smiling and feeling a bit less apprehensive about the calendar "Come on, Smallville, everything's gonna be alright" she said, squeezing his hand gently and attacking her food again. "Besides, you can't keep that body out of us mortal's reach. At least give us that calendar, I want to prove my theory that those arms of yours can cure cancer with just one flex."

"Lois!" he swore the heat of his face could be felt all the way to Kansas.

 

* * *

 

"Clark!" said Mr. Wayne, smiling at the sight of the reporter at the door to his office "Welcome, please come in."

"Thanks, Mr. Wayne."

"For the hundredth time: Bruce, Clark, call me Bruce," said the man giving him a once over "you're cute enough, you earned it."

"So if I was average looking, would I have to address you as Mr. Wayne?" said Clark, valiantly fighting the new blush threatening to cover his cheeks.

"Probably, and you wouldn't be here to report on anything as frequently," answered the CEO, smirking suggestively "I did select you because of your journalistic virtues" which translated to 'you didn't just dismiss my projects as the new *Brucie* way of making up for all the shit I did in my last escapade "the fact that you're this gorgeous it's just a very welcome bonus."

"Ahem." 

The Kryptonian really didn't know what to say, ultimately losing his battle and feeling his face burn bright red at the compliment.

He was ashamed to accept, even to himself, that he'd started crushing on the billionaire after a week of following him like a shadow due to his article on Wayne enterprises clean water project. He followed the man (who was happy to stay on the sidelines and let his scientist and experts do the talking while flirting with everything that moved, _Clark_ included) everywhere for five days. 

Even if he could be really obnoxious half the time, Bruce was a great boss, if not knowledgeable about the workings of his company, actually interested in his worker's health, their families and their well being. Clark was helplessly charmed when the man told one of his workers she could take the week off when he learned her husband had suffered an accident and broken his leg. He even offered to pay all the medical bills and make it paid time off so that they wouldn't struggle for money, asking her not to tell anyone about it or how the hospital cost was actually covered. Of course, he did all of that out of hearing range of any normal human being, obviously wanting to be discreet and maintain his aloof reputation, especially around a reporter. What he certainly wasn't counting on was Clark not being a normal human being and, well, to say he was captivated was to put it mildly, even more so hearing the woman's coworkers tell stories of similar things happening to them or their friends, always being asked not to comment on it and not thank him publicly or privately.

"Well, I'm glad to have you here. I'm so excited about this new project and I want you to write about it."

"Your combined project with Stark Industries, you said," commented Clark, quickly forgetting all the shameless ogling and flirting and letting the journalist in him take over. "What is the project about? You and Mr. Stark have kept silent on the details so let's start with what it is that Waynetech and SI are planning."

"Well, the main objective is to start expanding the arc reactor tech throughout the country, starting with Gotham. Since I own half the city, every Wayne building will start using this technology as soon as possible, with plans to implement it on the Wayne building in Metropolis soon after that. Tony already has the data from his tower, and that will be the foundation for this project. God knows we need cleaner, cheaper energy and I believe with our combined efforts it'll soon be a reality." Clark hummed while he finished his notes making a few annotations for later

"And you believe this arc reactor will be able to sustain half the city without ecological hazards?"

"I've been to Stark Tower, well, before he sold it off of course, and the capabilities of the arc reactor are amazing. And, well, Stark's mouth has... a lot of talents," said Wayne, smiling salaciously and making the already barely readable chicken scratch of his notes downright undecipherable "lying is definitely one of them, but his tech is that incredible. I just don't want to inflate his ego if I can avoid it." 

Clark smiled at that. Mr. Stark's narcissistic attitude was well known everywhere, and the reporter barely bit back a laugh at the thought that _Bruce Wayne_ was as annoyed as anyone else by Stark's self-centeredness. Like **he** could talk.

"You said that was the 'main objective'," proceeded Clark, satisfied with Bruce's answer to his previous question "Are there other less important goals for this partnership?" the other man gave him a sharp smile and took another sip of his coffee.

"Ah, Mr. Kent. Times like this remind me why I chose you to be my personal journalist." He got up from his desk and started pacing the office, mulling over the question and finally stopping at the magnificent view of afternoon Gotham that the glass wall provided "there is, among much less interesting and important plans, the idea to develop an energy shield using his arc reactor."

"An energy shield?"

"Yes. When the New York invasion happened, there was a machine not even the mighty Thor himself was able to destroy thanks to an energy shield protecting it" Bruce, who had been looking at him turned around and looked out towards his dark city with a slightly frustrated expression "we're not even close to having some way to replicate what happened there, but the biggest reason for us to agree to join forces was because Tony is just as sure as I am that there's a bigger threat out there" he waved vaguely towards the sky "and he wants to protect this world, humanity, as much as I do."

"Threats like Superman." It wasn't a question, Clark knew better than to waste time even wondering if it was.

"Yes," answered Bruce, looking intently at his city "God knows this world can't afford any more Chitauri or Kryptonian invasions." Clark swallowed, his dry mouth making a terrible job of getting rid of the bile he felt rising and wrote down the reply "but since I'm no Iron Man, all I can really do is throw money at my problems until someone with brains solves them."

"What if other vigilantes, others like Iron man himself or, say, Batman, ever decided to turn against this world? They could be as dangerous as any alien, they both seem to have the resources and the brains to do it, they only lack a motive and that is not a reassuring thought, especially after witnessing Mr. Stark's constant reckless and irresponsible behavior or the way Batman brands criminals only to get them killed in prison and his disregard for the consequences of his actions. Yet, I don't see any interest in having a contingency for any of them." Bruce gave him another one of those sharp smiles, he looked different every time he did it, but the look in his eyes was so flitting that Clark was unable to identify it.

"You're right, every so-called hero is as much a danger as a blessing. But both Iron Man and Batman are human, limited by their human nature, and any kind of plan to take over the world or destroy it would need time and planning to be successful, and sooner or later, they could be exposed and neutralized. Iron Man has his team to detect any problems and stop him on time and Batman, well... even with his rep, he is only one man, a very human man, a man that has failed many times in the past and that _is_ reassuring. We'd not be that lucky with Superman. If he survived that destructive fight without so much as a scratch to show for it, survived floating in outer space without any kind of special equipment, then there's not much we can really do to challenge him. If he wanted to, and we really can't be sure he won’t, he could subdue and rule entire countries in a matter of hours, the world in a few days and we'd be helpless to stop him. So you can see why the other vigilantes are nowhere near our top list of priorities." 

Clark looked at him longer than he probably should have, but he was trying to assimilate the words, remembering how truly helpless he'd felt while battling Zod. How his strength, the one thing he'd always relied on, was matched perfectly and Zod's military training gave him the edge. How he thought several times he would have to sacrifice himself to save his home, and even willing as he was to do so, he'd still had been terrified of dying; how he wanted this man to know, to understand how much everything that happened that day still haunted him. He lowered his gaze and started scribbling quickly on his notepad, trying to deal with the fact that the man who he'd had a crush on for the past few weeks hated his other identity's guts, was afraid enough of him to try to develop something to keep him away from his only home just in the remote case he decided to turn into an evil dictator.

"Mr. Kent?" the smooth, deep voice of the CEO brought him back from his thoughts.

"Sorry, I was thinking about my next question," replied Clark, smiling as convincingly as he could and clearing his throat "Can you tell me exactly what you and Mr. Stark plan to do with the arc reactor technology?"

 

* * *

 

This was a terrible, horrible idea, he should've taken those days off. Lois expression told him everything he needed to know.

"I knew it was a bad idea! I should've just said I had a family emergency and go back to the farm to hide there until all this nightmare was over!"

"Calm down, Clark. It's only because I know what to look for that I found it. Now let's go, the photographer is waiting."

"I shouldn't be doing this! What if someone else knows what to look for? What if someone from the Planet has their suspicions and this is their final proof?"

"You in half a Santa costume would be their definitive proof?"

"Lois..."

"Look" she sighed, squeezing his arm gently "Perry asked for your photos to be taken separately so you don't get teased and feel more relaxed. Besides, you really can't back down from this, you'll just have to take a deep breath and deal with it." 

Clark looked at her for a long time until he decided he just couldn't stall anymore, sighed deeply and got up from his seat, walking out of the dressing room and met the photographer. Yeah, right. If anything, he'd get teased twofold after this.

"Please take off the robe and go stand over there, would you?" the photographer told him distractedly, fiddling with his equipment and ignoring Clark for the time being. The reporter was slow to comply with the request but, deciding to just get on with it, he took off the robe and walked until he was right in front of the camera. The man looked up at him and whistled "okay, now lay down there... can you take off your pants?" Lois looked like she was suppressing a booming laugh and Clark gave her a mortified expression while doing as he was asked.

"Alright, now hold this right here... very nice! If I thought this would sell pretty well before, now I know it'll fly off the shelves. Alright, let's save some families with those thighs of yours." Lois excused herself, ran out of the room, and even though she was kind enough to go out to the roof, nothing could make Clark not hear her let out an ugly snort followed by a very undignified laugh that went on long enough for Clark to just shut his hearing as much as he could. The oblivious photographer did his job while Clark tried to ignore his ex-girlfriend wheezing, move as he was asked and not die of embarrassment and fear in the process.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks later the calendar was out and, just as predicted by the photographer, it sold out within three days. Lois was looking at him and giggling softly while Cat informed them the 'Ho Ho Hot Santa' was the most popular month. What was worse was that a wall sized version had been plastered to the wall that faced the front door in hopes to promote the calendar with its best image and that was what greeted anyone who came up to the bullpen for the last week and a half. Clark always flushed at the sight of the mortifying thing displayed where everyone who came to his office could see it in all its embarrassing glory.

_"Wow, I can barely recognize you," said Lois when David and Steve had first hung the stupid poster "In fact, I don't think I would've known it is you if I didn't, uh, know it's you."_

_"That's good, it's exactly what I wanted," sighed Clark, grateful to whatever cosmic entity that had made that possible. "I think I even look regular."_

_"Yeah, if you can call _that_ regular looking." _

_"Lo..."_

_"I know, I know you mean you look more 'I spent my whole life working at a farm' than 'I'm an alien with perfect genes', but still."_

_Clark just looked at the poster, wondering what Zod would’ve thought of Lois’ take on Kryptonian procreation processes._

The loud ringing of his phone startled him out of his memory, making him jump a little in his seat. "Clark Kent, how can I help you?"

"Mr. Kent," Bruce Wayne replied at the other side of the line "I need you to come tomorrow, 10:30 am. There's an article I want you to write, understood?" Clark sat dumbfounded, looking at his phone in shock. Bruce never called his line, rarely called him ‘Mr. Kent’, always communicated with Perry and he sounded... off, it made Clark’s guts squirm with uneasiness "Mr. Kent?"

"Ah, sorry, Mr. Wayne, I'll be there on time, sir."

"Excellent," said the billionaire, tone razor sharp, like those smiles he gave him when he was pleased with Clark's witty remarks and the reporter was slightly surprised that he didn’t ask him to call him Bruce, as was his habit "I'm looking forward to our interview."

Clark stared at the phone long after the call ended, the uneasiness in his gut persisting and worsening slightly while he tried to pinpoint the emotion in the other man's voice.

"Kent!" it was Perry this time the one to make him jump in his seat. He almost bumped the desk with his knee and was grateful he never touched it or he would've been worried about its integrity "Stop staring at your phone and come here!"

"Yes, boss!" the Kryptonian got up from his seat, putting the CEO and his even weirder than normal behavior at the back of his mind for the time being.

 

* * *

 

It was after another three weeks after the call that Bruce asked him to come to his office again. He'd called that day and the next morning he'd received a call from Amber, his secretary, apologizing for having to cancel their interview, blaming it all on 'another impromptu Brucie vacation trip', and that her boss would call him to reschedule... whenever he came back. It was weird, yes, especially the timing, but not unheard of. The man did that all the time, and even though Clark felt there was more to his unplanned time off than he let on, he couldn't exactly interrogate the man. He wasn't sure if he'd get useful answers, hell, he wasn't even sure what he was searching for and, as infuriating as the man was, Clark enjoyed some of the terrible pick-up lines and the flirting, no matter how obviously false it was and he didn’t want to lose any of that.

"Hello, Clark," greeted Amber, smiling "are you here for that reschedule from last month?"

"Yes, I hope I'll get my interview... whatever it is about."

"He didn't tell you what you'll be writing about?"

"Not a single word, just that I should be here at 10:30."

"Well, that's interesting, he came in early today, it's the first time since I began working here that that's happened. Call me crazy but I think he was looking forward to this meeting."

"You think so?"

"Call it a gut feeling, I'm good with those. Well, it's almost time, I'll tell him you're here, just a moment" she said, picking up her phone. 'Interesting indeed' agreed Clark, this appointment had been just as weird. The playboy himself had called, again, apologizing briefly before asking him to meet him the next day, same hour as last time and just a bit more sharpness in his tone, even though he was pretty sure Bruce was trying to sound as obnoxious and flirty as always "he'll see you now, go ahead" Amber told him and Clark took a deep breath and walked up to the door, opening it and entering the enormous office.

Bruce was standing behind his desk, looking intently at what looked like photos. Clark felt his cheeks heating up when he noticed that one of them was his calendar photo. He could see himself laying on top of a pile of fake snow, with a long beard, a bright red cap and bushy white eyebrows and hair and nothing else to cover him but a present laying on top of his crotch. The blood left him just as rapidly, the dizziness doing nothing to stop him from noticing the other photo right beside the calendar one. A rather blurry image of him, as Superman, with his suit half melted.

Clark remembered that day, a week after the photo shoot. There was this guy dressed as a clown, claiming to be the Joker and that he'd end Superman so that ‘Batsy’ would pay attention to the right person again. The Kryptonian had stared at him, wondering if he was the actual Joker, what in the world he was talking about and if he ought to tell the Gotham vigilante that one of his rogues had come to Metropolis. He soon found out it he was the real deal and it was not a good idea to underestimate him, especially when he was working with someone he called 'Mr. Daddy Issues'' and had given him a 'pretty green rock' that made him dizzy and weakened him very quickly. A blast with a gun that used that rock's, Kryptonite, radiation ("I'm telling you, DI is really smart but his originality for names is nonexistent") had melted the top part of his almost as durable as him suit, leaving him naked from the waist up and completely out of breath. After the danger was over and everyone could take the incident as another day in Metropolis, the videos had gone viral, the most famous one was titled 'No laser vision needed to melt me'.

"You're Superman," said the man, with his eyes still plastered to the photos, then slowly looking up and fixing his gaze on him. His expression was unreadable, and Clark felt his heart almost stop when the words started making sense to his brain.

"Bruce, I-I don't..."

"You do, you know exactly what I'm talking about. _You **are** Superman,"_ repeated the man, walking around his desk slowly, as if he was dealing with something dangerous, never looking away from him. Clark started walking backwards, not wanting to use his speed and confirm the Gothamite's words, even though he looked convinced, and Clark swallowed with difficulty.

"I'm flattered but I think you're mistaken. I'm just a reporter and a really clumsy one at that." Bruce didn't reply, still walking slowly until he was right in front of him, just shy of invading his personal space, and Clark felt his heart hammer in his chest, fear running through his veins with every beat.

"That's why the Kryptonians destroyed your childhood home, back at Smallville, when they were nowhere near Kansas when they invaded Earth." The CEO ignored his words and Clark felt his legs wobble under him at his reply. How did he know about that? Had he been investigating Clark? Judging by the photos on the desk and what he just told him, it was pretty obvious he'd been digging around, probably to find proof to confirm his theory. So much for no one noticing. At least he could tell Lois someone, no, not just someone but Bruce 'Brucie' Wayne, had proven her wrong.

"I don't even look like him in that photo, Mr. Wayne, you should get your eyes checked."

"That's not the public version," replied Bruce, closing the space between them more and Clark suddenly realized there was nowhere to go and he was almost pressed against the wall. Clark looked at him, at the conviction on his discovery, and steeled himself.

"So, what are you gonna do? And, please, do lower your voice, I don’t want the whole building to know, not yet at least," he said with false bravado, trying not to hyperventilate, terrified of what a man with this much influence and just as powerful, if not physically, as Superman, could do to his life. He was perfectly conscious of Bruce's opinions on his super hero persona, all the hatred he seemed to feel for Superman and everything he represented or could become. The Kryptonian suppressed a mirthless laugh, idly wondering if he'd let the Planet have the exclusive, if he'd let him choose Lois and Jimmy for the interview to ruin his and his Ma's lives.

What Clark was not expecting was Bruce suddenly laughing and neither was he, if the hand that was quickly slapped over his own mouth was any indication.

"What's so funny?" half growled Clark, annoyed at the man for making fun of such a delicate situation.

"Sorry... I-I don't..." stuttered the Gothamite uncharacteristically, snorting and then laughing again. "I just realized that _Superman_ posed semi naked for my calendar." Bruce seemed to be unable to stop himself from laughing anymore and gave into the urge, clutching at his stomach and leaning on Clark for support. The reporter wasn't sure what was happening, almost flinching away from the other man's touch. After a few moments though, Bruce's laugh, not the normal small chuckle or derisive snort but full on laughter filled with childlike joy, proved to be contagious and he soon found himself half smiling softly. The situation was just too bizarre.

"I'm not planning on doing anything with that information," said Bruce, after regaining some semblance of control over himself. "I mean, I was but..." another fit of laughter gripped him and this gave Clark's mind enough time to let the pieces fall neatly into place, even if the whole picture still didn't make that much sense.

"You said that wasn't the calendar version. That means..."

"I got the pics first. The photographer wanted my thumbs up before starting the print out." That meant...

"You changed the image so no one else would notice what you did," whispered Clark, completely baffled by this realization. Bruce confirmed this by lowering his gaze to the floor, and even though he was this close it was still difficult to tell, the faintest of flushes over his perfect cheeks. "Why?

"I... I was convinced you were a threat, a ticking time bomb that, when we'd least expect it, would go off... but then I met you, _really_ got to know you. That first interview was interesting," he said that last part with a soft smile and Clark felt his lips trying to mimic the movement.

The reporter remembered the first interview. He'd had to cut it short, a call from his Ma's house when she knew he'd be busy was worrying enough, the voice of her neighbor on the other side of the line had him panicking, even more so when the man told him his Ma had collapsed and that the doctor was on his way there. He'd excused himself and Bruce had offered his personal car to drive him there. As much as he'd wanted to just fly as fast as he could to his mother's side, he knew he couldn't just appear out of thin air a minute after he received the call so he reluctantly accepted the offer. He would later discover all the hospital bills had been magically paid by an anonymous good Samaritan and Clark was wondering what he would do when the billionaire inevitably let him know he’d gotten a better replacement to do his job.

"I thought you would fire me," said Clark, his dry mouth making swallowing difficult.

"I thought it was cute, a man that leaves everything for a family member in need, especially his parents, is a man I can respect. That's what I thought that day."

"Is that why you requested me to be your personal reporter?"

"I told you before, you are a good journalist. I do like your work and ethics." Clark wasn't sure if he was right but the situation was weird enough that anything that he did wouldn't feel that foolish.

"And that's the only thing you like?" God, what was he doing, thinking about that in a moment like this? Was the adrenaline fucking with his brain? Bruce's eyes gave him a quick once over before returning to his face, and the reporter felt a familiar warmth start to simmer in his belly.

"I did not spend all this time with that photo _just_ analyzing it," replied the man in what would've been a provocative tone if his voice weren't shaking slightly. The implication of his words made that low heat worsen, shooting straight to his dick. He felt himself getting harder when the other man's hands started unbuttoning his shirt, the lust combined with the small but sharp stab of fear he felt when Bruce opened his dress shirt only to see the S of his suit making his member strain against the alien material.

"So, it is true," said Bruce breathlessly while tracing the shape with his hand, inhaling deeply and the barely there heat of his skin made Clark shiver.

"I thought you were convinced already," mumbled Clark.

"Well, having the definitive proof right in front of me, under my hand... it's different." Bruce's hands barely hesitated before ripping the rest of the shirt open, not caring about the buttons flying everywhere and shoved it down his arms, caressing his clothed limbs on his way back to his shoulders and then, maybe unable to stop himself, caressed his belly with a fascinated look. "It's a shame I can't touch the skin I've been fantasizing about all this time."

"I c-can get rid of the suit," stuttered Clark, feeling his cock start to leak and flex eagerly, wanting so badly to feel those hands touching him directly, but Bruce shook his head.

"Not yet," sighed the CEO, slowly unbuckling the belt and letting his slacks drop to the floor where Clark got rid of them alongside his shoes. Bruce's hand went straight, if painfully slowly, to his covered cock and the Kryptonian couldn't suppress the wanton moan that was ripped from his throat at the contact, already feeling like he could come without needing much more than that slight pressure. His hips bucked involuntarily against Bruce's hand, and the older man hissed and replaced his hand with his mouth.

"F-fuck... I-I'm going..." he whined when the billionaire stopped his ministrations and he had to stop himself from pulling Bruce's head to its former position.

"I really don't want you to come just yet and definitely not in your suit," smirked Bruce, seeing the member pulse against the skin-tight fabric and obviously pleased with how wrecked Clark was already.

"I can... can come more..." Clark tried to explain with a lust addled brain, trying not to be ashamed of how needy he sounded.

"Oh, is that so? I still don't want you to come in your clothes so let's get rid of them, yes?" Clark nodded, pressing the S on his chest and making the suit fragment into small squares and begin to retreat into the El shield, then he took it off and put it inside one of his slack’s pockets. Bruce seemed fascinated by the display and he looked like someone who would make all kinds of questions about the alien technology if his brain wasn't out of blood to function with. He quickly recovered from the shock and dropped to his knees, not hesitating for a second before swallowing the hard length in front of him to the root, only choking slightly.

A sharp intake of breath followed by a surprised shout of pleasure was all Clark's brain was capable of, completely forgetting his fear of being overheard from earlier, his legs shook under his weight and he wondered if he'd have to use his flight to keep from falling to his knees by the time this was over. Bruce chuckled, sending vibrations all over his cock and then diving once more until Clark could feel himself nudging the back of his throat. Bruce swallowed twice around him before retreating, his tongue licking the underside of the member and making lazy circles over the tip, licking the little hole insistently.

Clark almost sobbed, it was too much, too good.

"I... I-I'm close," mumbled Clark, feeling his eyes sting, trying as hard as he could to stop himself from finishing, not wanting Bruce to stop what he was doing. The older man seemed to read his thoughts because he took him in to the root again and swallowed a few times, even reaching out with his tongue to caress Clark's balls. That was all the Kryptonian could take, with tears rolling down his cheeks, he spilled down Bruce's throat, the playboy moaned and swallowed as much come as he could, eventually choking on the hot liquid and releasing the still pumping penis from his mouth, a few powerful spurts painting his face and chest before Clark was finally done. Turns out he'd had to use his flight after all.

"Jesus!" hissed Bruce, clumsily undoing his own pants but not to jack off but to try and stave his own orgasm off. Clark shuddered at the sight of Bruce Wayne on his knees, face and chest covered in Clark's come, eyes tightly closed and gripping his own cock viciously all the while trembling slightly "you may not have any problem staying hard but not all of us are that young or have super stamina," said Bruce, gritting his teeth and tightening his hold on the base of his cock with what looked like absolutely painful strength.

When he seemed convinced he wouldn't come the next second, he stood up and walked unsteadily towards his desk, getting a bottle of lubricant from one drawer and coming to stand on the front side. He turned his back to Clark and the reporter heard him uncap the bottle, squirt some of its contents presumably on his hand and drop it on the desk. Then he bent over said desk and directed his lubed fingers to his pucker.

"What... I thought you didn't..." 'I thought you didn't trust me' Clark couldn't finish the phrase, his mouth watering at the sinful display of trust.

"I've been fantasizing about you, about fucking your brains out on that couch, you bending me over this desk -ngh!- and making me scream with your cock, for weeks now," growled Bruce, adding a third finger to the other two he shoved inside himself and stretching his hole roughly "and, right now, I really, really want the second option."

The billionaire thrust his fingers in and out in what Clark was sure was the pace he wanted to be fucked with. Then he slowly withdrew his fingers and used both hands to spread his ass cheeks, looking at Clark over his shoulder with a smoldering look.

"I've been a good boy this year, dear Santa, will I get a present? Or do I need to sit on your lap to get it?"

"Fucking hell," groaned Clark, his cock leaked copiously at the sight. He used his super speed and his sudden appearance made Bruce jump slightly. Clark could hear his heart skip a few beats before settling into its normal rate and remembered where the man's hatred for Superman came from. "Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"Shut up and just fuck me already," grunted Bruce, taking Clark's cock and coating it with lube generously, then leaned down on the desk and spread his legs, presenting himself. Clark almost came again right that instant. He didn't hesitate before lining up to the slick entrance and pushing carefully inside.

"Come on, farmboy, I'm not made of glass," said Bruce breathlessly, getting up from his position and using Clark's arm as leverage to pull him towards him, making him stumble slightly and bury his cock all the way inside his hole. Bruce gasped, the sudden intrusion punching the air out of his lungs and he dropped back down over the desk, spreading his legs more and angling his hips up, trying to accommodate the huge length impaling him.

Clark couldn't stop himself from thrusting, the involuntary contractions of Bruce's walls making it impossible for him to wait any longer. He cursed as soon as he started moving, the heat was almost unbearable, his enhanced senses making sure he could perceive everything tenfold in detail and he really didn't know if his 'Kryptonian stamina' would hold up to its reputation right now.

"Yes...! _Fuck_ , you're too **big,** " moaned the man, adjusting the angle of his hips again and shaking hard when Clark felt his member bump against his prostate "I'm about to come."

Clark wanted to say something, maybe a little dirty talk of his own, anything, but he was reduced to panting and embarrassing little noises that were wrenched out of him with every thrust. Soon, the firm belly started spasming under his tight grip and those perfect thighs trembled against his. Bruce was about to orgasm and his body seemed adamant on dragging Clark with it, the ring of muscle contracting rhythmically around his dick, and Clark could feel himself harden inside the smoldering entrance, the already constricting hole making it almost impossible to move smoothly.

"Shit, did you just... -Ngh!- Get bigger?" croaked Bruce with what seemed like the last remains of his coherency, shuddering hard again, and he thrust his hips back, making that enormous dick slide all the way in, the whole length of it gliding firmly over his sweet spot and he writhed helplessly. "I-I'm..."

"Yes! Come, Bruce! Come for me," growled Clark slamming into the willing body and hearing the other man choke a sob and clamp down on him so hard he couldn't move without hurting him. Bruce clawed at the desk while his legs seemed unable to hold him up and Clark was sure he would've fallen if he weren't perched on the piece of furniture and Clark wasn't holding his hips so firmly. The scent of come filled Clark's nostrils and he could see how much the billionaire had spilled, long lines of white stained the wood and it was just too much, Bruce's half naked body drenched in sweat, his legs shaking and his breath uneven while his ass was trying to milk his orgasm out of him. It worked.

"Jesus, Bruce!"

"Fuck, yes, come inside me, fill me up, Kal El," moaned Bruce and Clark couldn't remember having come harder in his life, spurt after spurt coming out of him and flooding the tight cavity. Hearing his birth name in the raspy, post orgasm voice of the beautiful man underneath him making his vision go white.

He slumped heavily over his lover's back, kissing his neck and shoulders tiredly and slowly rolling his hips, riding out his climax, his movements making the slick entrance make obscene noises which threatened to make him hard again. Clark pulled out of the delicious hole when he felt his cock start to soften, Bruce shuddered when the fat head popped out of his not quite loose enough ring of muscle and moaned softly at the feel of the warm rivulets of come that rolled down the back of his quivering thighs. Clark hissed and bit his lip, the menacing twitch of his prick made him look away from that perfect view, he really didn't think another round was a good idea. For now, at least.

Bruce produced a pack of wet towels from somewhere and attempted to clean himself with moderate success. Clark took the wipes out of his hands and picked up from where Bruce left, using some of them himself and then slumping on the chair behind him, the CEO joining him on the one next to him, sitting more carefully than Clark. They stayed in silence for a few moments, Clark was trying to process what just happened now that his cock wasn't hogging all the blood in his body and he looked at Bruce intently while he seemed to be lost in thought, perhaps baffled at his actions and specifically who he'd done them with.

"So..." said Clark nervously, after what felt like an eternity of looking at Bruce's profile and admiring the beauty of his exhausted but relaxed face after their... activities "what happens now?" Bruce stayed silent a few minutes more, his eyes closed but Clark could almost hear his brain working, the cogs turning inside, considering his words before he turned his head and looked at him with those beautiful clear eyes of his.

"Nothing happens now. I won't reveal your identity to anyone and I'll try to help you as much as I can." He said the last part with an absent look, one that said he couldn't believe what he'd just said and that he actually meant it. Clark could understand why it was so surprising for the billionaire.

"Thank you, I... I really appreciate it, especially after what I put you through."

"This is not the pillow talk I expected from you."

"Neither did you expect me to be the flying alien you _wanted to punch in the face, not caring that your bones turned to fucking dust_ ," replied Clark, chuckling when the older man flinched slightly at the sound of his own words in the voice of the one he had offended "Yet, here we are."

A new, more comfortable silence fell over them and Clark could finally fully realize what just happened. The man he was crushing on so hard, the man that hated the super side of him just gave him the best blowjob of his life then proceeded to fuck his brains out and then told him he wouldn't expose him, which meant his Ma would keep her peaceful, paparazzi-free life, and he wouldn't have to give up being Clark Kent or working for the Planet.

"You won't fire me either?"

"You **are** a good reporter, Clark. I know I've been harsh to you because of your superpowers but surely that's not reason enough for you not to believe I meant it the other three times I told you the exact same thing." Bruce seemed to think he was prepared to put his pants and underwear back on and started putting himself together again. "You never report on Superman, always leave that to your friend Lois when you could just praise yourself and, well..." Bruce walked up to his chair, leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips "Who else could I want to be my personal journalist?" 

Clark didn't know what to say. To say this was the exact opposite of what he'd expected when the man first told him he knew his other identity was an understatement. He didn't want to abuse his decidedly good luck, he should be wary that everything was going so well up to this point, but he might as well just get it out of the way.

"Will.... will this be a one time thing?" he would love to see if this crush could grow beyond that with time to know this amazing man. He was sure it was well on its way after today.

"I..." Bruce hesitated and Clark felt his stomach drop to the floor. He started raking his brain for something to make the rejection less awkward.

"No, it's ok. Sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable, I should've known you wouldn't want to have anything-"

"Would you shut up for a second, Kent?" growled the billionaire, his irritated tone making the reporter stop in his tracks and stare at him. "I never said I didn't want anything with you. In fact, I've been meaning to make a move on you for a while now."

"Why didn't you?"

"I wasn't, uh, sure you would accept."

"What??" the older man dropped his gaze to the floor, a faint blush covered his cheeks and Clark would've found it adorable if his brain wasn't short circuiting from the shock. Could Bruce Wayne _really_ get insecure, especially about asking someone out? "Why wouldn't I?"

"Why would you with all that terrible gossip about me? And, well, I'm not the only one who's criticized someone without really knowing them here." It was Clark's turn to flinch, remembering how harsh he'd been to Bruce when he first met the Wayne heir. He knew better now, but back then his words had never been kind and he was about to apologize when Bruce stopped him with a snort "it's okay, I deserve it. Still, you can see why I would be skeptical of a positive reaction towards my advances. You're not the usual air headed socialite bimbo that I'm used to."

It was obvious Bruce was trying to tell him he thought Clark was better than all those trust fund morons he spent most of his time with but didn't know how to and Clark almost melted on the spot. He was falling hard for this man and didn't know how to stop himself or if he even wanted to.

"Well, Mr. Wayne, I think you're going to need to find a new personal reporter," replied Clark with a stern expression, he saw the crestfallen look on the older man's face before he could school it into nonchalance and had to bite the inside of his cheek not to laugh.

"I understand. It's a shame, though, it would've been-"

"I wasn't done talking," interrupted Clark softly and Bruce shut up and looked at him warily, surely thinking the Kryptonian would say something scathing and wanting to hear none of it. "You'll have to find someone else because I can't date my boss, the ethics you like so much won't let me and I sure as hell am not gonna disregard them." Clark could see the moment his words sunk into Bruce's brain and chuckled loudly at his bewildered expression. Clark wasn't about to fall for Bruce, he was already in too deep and hadn't even noticed.

"Well, I'd ask you if your parents were aliens 'cause you're out of this world but I'm sure you've heard that one already."

"God, please don't," groaned Clark, the bad pick-up lines were a terrible way for him to deflect and redirect Clark’s attention elsewhere so he wouldn’t tease him further. Hell, they were terrible _period. ___

____

"If I made Santa come twice does that mean I'll be in the naughty list this year?"

__

" **You're the reason** that list exists!"

__

"Oh ho! Superman using cheesy pick-up lines, I'm a terrible influence."

__

"That was not...! Oh, god, what did I get myself into?" Bruce smiled and sat on his lap, kissing him deeply and leaving him breathless before leaning back and grinning mischievously.

__

"Too late to say no, Kent, you already agreed and I didn't become a billionaire letting good deals go."

__

"You were born a billionaire."

__

"But I could’ve done something stupid and dilapidated the whole fortune. It does happen."

__

Clark wanted to say that, with the Wayne fortune, that would be almost impossible but the soft lips of his lover made him forget what they even were talking about. He was still convinced that this was just one of those vivid dreams he had started having when his crush on the playboy blossomed but, well, he'd just have to wait and see if it was the case and enjoy the ride while he did.

__

 

__

* * *

__

 

__

"YOU'RE THE BAT?? THE GOTHAM BAT??" yelled Clark, sure that his eyeballs would drop out of their sockets any second now, the double meaning behind his own words when Bruce had used them almost a month and a half ago finally sinking in. Bruce rolled his eyes and looked back at the documents he'd been reading right before Clark barged into his office without knocking. Everyone already knew they were dating and Bruce's secretary never made him wait to meet the man, boss' orders.

__

"I thought you'd figure that one out sooner, Kent," replied the man distractedly, signing some of the papers and not paying attention at his lover having a mental breakdown at his admission. "Some investigative journalist you are, I might just think you use your abilities to do all the legwork for you."

__

"I... how can you be the Batman?? You're Brucie Wayne, for god's sake!"

__

"And you're just clumsy, ordinary, mild mannered reporter Clark Kent, it would be hard to believe you are a flying, nigh indestructible alien yet here we are." Bruce looked at him for a moment then returned his attention to his work.

__

Clark could see all the clues, obvious now that he knew what to look for. The nasty bruises he sometimes could see on his lover's body when they fucked; the strange, if not unpleasant, scars with unbelievable stories behind them, too unbelievable even for Brucie (and now that he thought about it, the timing of those Brucie vacations that had made it impossible for him to interview him right before he discovered his secret identity was just too perfect to not be related) and, of course, how the Bat had stopped using his famous brand and was 'going back to what he used to be' according to many Gothamites, right after he told Bruce how brutal and unnecessary he thought that was and how disappointed he was that a human being could be so cruel, even if he was dealing with criminals. 'You’re too young, an idealist. That is nice and all but life will make sure you understand how it really works in the real world, son,' had replied Bruce, chuckling slightly and Clark had thought that he was an asshole. Now he could see he'd actually listened to him. He fought the silly grin that wanted to bloom on his lips, Bruce was the most adorable asshole he'd ever met.

__

"I see now how you figured it all out. I suppose the 'World's Greatest Detective' title I've heard people giving you is not just a compliment," said Clark, slumping on the chair and sighing deeply "Well, I'm no Batman so give me a break."

__

"You took your sweet time and you should've find out sooner but you still did it on your own so, congratulations," said Bruce, smirking and getting up from his seat, crossing the office quickly and locking the door. "And now that you're here, I hope I don't have to spell it out for you and you figure what I want out soon, Mr. Kent."

__

Clark shivered, already feeling himself harden in his slacks and once again wondered if his stamina would be enough to keep up with this man, but he was happy to have the opportunity to find out.

__

"How long do we have?"

__

"I cleared my schedule for the rest of the day for you, Kal El," purred the billionaire, straddling Clark’s lap and rolling his hips lazily against the firm cock pushing against him. Clark just moaned softly and gripped his hips, already forgetting all the questions he had about his lover’s nightly activities and deciding that the interrogation could wait a little while longer.

__


End file.
